A few years ago I was on a business trip in San Diego. One evening I enjoyed sightseeing with some colleagues which required a bus to get to our next destination. The bus made a stop after a few minutes and a new round of people came on and went off the bus. One of the new passengers was a man in his forties who sat just across the aisle one or two rows in front of me. I couldn’t help but notice his heavily lined face and uncontrolled smile, but it wasn’t the kind of smile that brought warm fuzzies and cheer. It was a smile he was seemingly not aware of and intensified as woman walked past him, on or off the bus. I could tell whatever was going on in his mind had gained control over his external body in the form of a perverse smile. He also seemed to be jabbering undiscernibly under his breath. It didn’t take long to realize this man was likely a lunatic by worldly standards. His lack of control gained my pity. Experiences like that are probably daily occurrences for most people in big cities, but for a rural Idahoan like me, it was unfamiliar and has consequently left a mark, which mark is more of a lingering question in my mind: What am I involved in that causes me to loose control of myself?
A favorite scripture of mine comes from Alma speaking to one of his sons, Shiblon. Alma told him to “Use boldness but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; see that you refrain from idleness” (Alma 38:12). Shiblon apparently took the advice well, but one chapter later, we find Alma speaking to his other son, Corianton. This son did not hearken to this counsel very well, began boasting in his pride, and left his preaching after a harlot. Like the man on the bus, Corianton did not bridle his passions and became controlled by them, rather than controlling them.
One day when I was pondering that scripture, the word bridle became interesting to me. I was at work where a coworker happened to be a horse expert. In general I knew that a bridle was something you put in a horse’s mouth but that was the extent of my knowledge. I sat down next to her and began to ask questions about bridles. Our conversation went like this: “Ione, what is a bridle?” “Well, it’s something you put in a horse’s mouth to control the animal.” “Hmm, what do you mean by control?”, I said. “Ok, with a bridle you have the ability to make the animal move, turn, stop, or speed up. When you use a bridle you have total control over the animal.” I was intrigued with how well her answers applied to Alma’s advice to Shiblon.
Then feeling curious about the need for control I asked her if some animals needed more control than others. She replied that younger “spirited” horses typically need more control. She then began to tell me about a well known equestrian who rode bareback and used no bridle. She pulled up a YouTube video so I could see for myself. The setting was an arena with a large enthusiastic audience. A young woman with hands gently resting on her thighs entered on the back of her beautiful saddle-less, bridle-less animal in a slow graceful walk. After a moment the horse began to turn and completed a perfect figure eight, meanwhile, the rider had not changed her original position. Then she gradually leaned forward and the horse began to trot, hands still on her legs. As the video continued I witnessed the animal progress from trotting to a full sprint, and then come to a complete and abrupt stop, all while the rider remained perfectly poised and motionless. The horse had done everything my friend told me you could make a horse do with a bridle, but did it all without one. The animal had learned to recognize the smallest commands from its master and performed its responsibilities in a remarkable and beautiful performance. As my friend told me a few more things about her animals and controlling them with a bridle, I became astonished at how well her temporal equestrian lessons and descriptions fit Alma’s spiritual intentions to his son. I had never had any experience with horses or farming in my life, so the feelings of awe, respect, and even reverence for the performance I had just seen surprised me.
My friend’s use of the word ‘spirited’ in describing a young horse was also peculiar. The word naturally makes me think of the drama and energy that is typically associated with teenage years, but I have come to see that her word choice has the same meaning as Alma’s word use of ‘passion’. Young untamed horses need bridles to control their passionate, spirited energy. Then through training, experience, and maturity, the animal not only demonstrates, but has totally become the verities of perfect poise, elegance, and mastery.
Passion is a bit like nitro glycerin – a compound so volatile and is subject to exploding when the temperature is in the wrong range or when its temperature changes too rapidly. It also needs to maintain a certain level of stability to prevent exploding. Mixing the compound with other agents can stabilize it making it safe and effective in such things as ammunition and in order to be taken internally to treat medical heart conditions. Human passions likewise can be explosive when not controlled. But when passion is bridled it can be the means of accomplishing delicate and powerful things.
When considering passion as a vice, and therefore a threat to the acquisition of spiritual powers, the natural response would be to stifle and suppress it. But consider all the wonderful things that have come about through the power of controlled passion. It is the fuel that has brought forth the most beautiful music, paintings, scholarly research, and literature. No one would ask the famous opera singer Luciano Pavorotti to scale back his energy a bit. His skill, poise, and control as a classical singer demand humanity’s admiration and respect. Going back to nitroglycerin, it would be counter intuitive to try to lessen the explosive capability of it because it couldn’t blast through solid rock in order to fashion train tunnels and foundations for buildings. Likewise, human passions should not be smothered, but rather bridled and controlled.
King Henry VIII’s passion surely contributed to his skill as a musician, poet, and intellectual, but in his passionate anger it also lead to the execution of dozens of his close acquaintances including two of his wives.[1] Despite any good he may have accomplished during his reign, his passionate ruling has eternally marred his image, and his reward is humanity’s pity.
History, the scriptures, and present day experiences are full of examples of figures exemplifying bridled and unbridled passion. In every case the results are the same. Those who exemplify controlled passion always produce praiseworthy outcomes, while those who foster unbridled passion always produce outcomes of explosive catastrophe, suffering, and chaos.
One way to guage our own ability to control ourselves is identify what we turn to when we are stressed out. One summer I realized my inability to control myself when I nearly started shaking in pursuit of chocolate following a stressful day of work. It may sound simple or even humorous, but the effects were tangible and I realized that I turned to chocolate for solace. But I saw the situation for what it was; I recognized that drug users have the same tendency to seek comfort though in a more destructive way. Gamers are no different; video games can provide that soothing comfort or outlet. For some people it’s pornography. For other’s it’s social media or electronic entertainment. Whatever the case, we all turn to something, and in that turning we find our ability (or inability) to control ourselves.
I began to drop to my knees when I felt the shakes in my chocolate craving. I let God know that I wanted my comfort to come from him rather than my chocolate. It worked, and our relationship is stronger because of it. “But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage” (Mosiah 7:33). It isn’t easy to admit weakness. A leader in my youthful days had a personal motto, “do something hard every day”. Control takes conscious mental effort, and is not easy at first. But through practice it can become such a part of the core of self that it becomes owned, mastered, and we can proudly stand upon our weakness and wave the flag of victory.
As one controls passionate love, they will find their pure love increase. As the un-tempered man bridles his anger, he will likewise find his love for others increases. As the worldly person controls greed, they will find their peace and contentment with the things they have increases. And for the chocoholic like myself, turning to God instead increased my love for him significantly as I realized he really cared and answered my prayers. Alma understood this effect of increased love when he told his son to “bridle all [his] passions, that [he] may be filled with love”.
(Since this post was originally written in 2013, this similar article was published in the September 2014 edition of the Ensign.)
[1] King Henry VIII, Wikipedia; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Henry_VIII. Accessed December 2013.