As an educator, a learner, and a father, I am often directly involved in one of the most miraculous processes this world has to offer – the process of gaining knowledge. I have observed that every miracle that has ever taken place involved change of some kind, and gaining knowledge is truly a miraculous process (see my blogposton the power of change).
With regard to the way we seek truth and knowledge, we are all like sailors, crossing the ocean of life in pursuit of a paradise where we can finally rest once we have made the grand discovery. I have this tendency with each new finding of thinking that I have discovered the ultimate location, only to find a better view just around the next corner. How damning to myself it is to think that I have arrived, and how confining it is to the Lord to believe that no greater view could be found anywhere!
I remember thinking to myself in third grade “I understand math, reading, writing, and art – I know everything!” In my mind I had arrived at the harbor of intellectual knowledge, and there were no more harbors to be found. As the next level of math and language soon came along I was reminded how little I knew and had to humble myself in order to progress.
And so the process has repeated itself a thousand times since – just when I think I know it all, something comes my way to show me how limited I am in my understanding, whether secular or spiritual. I believe this is why Alma said in effect that it is better to humble ourselves, rather than being humbled (Alma 32).
Just as nothing is as miraculous and joyous to me as gaining knowledge, nothing is so equally frustrating and damning by contrast than stagnation; complacency; the sense of having arrived; or as the scriptures put it, those who are “at ease in Zion” (Amos 6:1; 2 Nephi 28:24). The problem with this socio-graphic is they are so content in their paradigm that they are unwilling to admit they could possibly be one of those kind of people. To my reader I ask you to ask yourself the following: Could I be at ease in my gospel understanding? Could there be more light and truth that would disrupt my comfort if I heard it? Do I think I have all the knowledge of the gospel? Do I restrict the Lord’s ability to speak truth to my heart in any way He sees fit?
2017 was a year I will forever remember as the year I gained more eternal knowledge than any other year of my life; which as might be expected, came through more trying circumstances than any other year. Unfortunately, the lessons were far too personal to reveal here, but I wish I could shout the knowledge I’ve gained from the rooftops. I believe I will have that opportunity one day.
But there is a lesson I can share. I found myself in a mode of spiritual arrogance, where I had essentially been telling the Lord in my prayers that I love truth, I am ready for more, any, or all of it, and as soon as He was willing to give it to me. He had a perfect plan in mind to give me the knowledge I sought with a side of humility. Practically overnight I found my prayers changed to “Please don’t show me any more – it is more than I can bear.”
The loving message that flowed into my heart and mind was “Be humble, patient, and believing. I will give you what you need when it is the best time for you.” I struggled for months, and at times wanted my life to end. But having waded through the difficulty of the new knowledge, I am eternally grateful for the knowledge, and would never give it, nor the trials that came with it, back!
Now, I find myself in the middle of the new trial of wanting to share the beautiful truths I’ve learned with others, but am constrained by the spirit to do so. Anytime I attempt to share my knowledge I find myself in the first row seat observing comments that resemble my third grade perspective, essentially telling me they have learned to read and write and there’s nothing left to learn; their harbor is perfect the way it is, and there can be no better harbor. Adding insult to injury, they’ll say in effect: ‘and knowledge like that shouldn’t be coming to you anyway’, or ‘not in that manner’.
I am left marveling at Heavenly Father’s infinite wisdom and mercy that He will give knowledge to those who are obedient, and believing. I marvel in the way He can miraculously change my heart, and hope He can perform another miracle in others, so we may all be instructed, edified, and rejoice in the miracle of learning together (Doctrine and Covenants 50:22).