By Eric Smith
November 19, 2020
A good friend recently told me of a personal experience he had that has changed my outlook on what hell must be like. He occasionally works to liberate victims of human trafficking. One of his last missions took place in an old abandoned underground sewer system beneath Las Vegas which is apparently a central hub of human trafficking in the U.S. He and his team took a former female trafficking victim along with them to help rescue a victim they had been led to.
Before our conversation I might have imagined such operations to consist of several heavily armed men going underground with guns aimed at the perpetrators who held the trafficking hostage captive. The victim would have been taken to safety, thanking her hero rescuers, and then assimilating herself back into a life like what you and I live. My friend helped me see how much more complicated it is.
When I asked him why they needed to bring a former trafficking victim along, I was surprised to hear that the victim in question needed help being persuaded to leave. That shocked me. I asked him why a victim would need help leaving such awful circumstances. Again, I was baffled by his answer: “because their life down there is all they know, and a life of freedom can be scary to them.”
I asked him a few more questions and learned that these victims are not necessarily restrained in chains and handcuffs under the direct supervision of evil men with bad intentions. Rather, their chains are comprised of fear and doubt that they could ever succeed above ground. They are sexually, and physically abused, and treated like worthless objects, and many of them have never known the emotions of true love and compassion. The cruelty and abuse they receive is payment for their living, and for many it is all they have ever known. A life like what you and I live would be foreign to them. They are essentially free roaming slaves bound only by the walls of their minds heavily conditioned and controlled by their perpetrators.
Sadly, after much effort, my friend and his team who could have ensured a bright opportunity for freedom were unable to convince this young woman to leave her dim circumstances.
As I have pondered the horror of what goes on beneath the awareness of the collective masses, it is clear that those of us above the sewers and trafficking rings living what we might think of as ‘normal lives’ are no different than those living beneath us. We are all enslaved in one way or another. I might generally classify our slavery in two ways; either by those who we give our agency and creative power to, such as leaders or authority figures of any kind. And secondly, one that is potentially more threatening and destructive – ourselves.
Words have specific meaning, and I have found in writing this piece that using words like hostage or victim, are not always accurate because both indicate an unwilful desire to be held in captivity. I could not find a suitable word in English that matched my intent. I will use the expression, willful captive, to describe such a person.
I had originally intended to write a bit on the way we can be slaves to men and institutions in our current day but feel that may be better left for another time. I would rather like to focus my thoughts here on the way we hold ourselves hostage in the sewers of our own making. My hope is that simply recognizing some of these patterns can help liberate a few of my readers. Regardless of anything I say, ultimately the choice to leave the sewers in your life is to recognize that you are a willful captive, and freedom is yours simply by choosing it.
Culture
The word ‘culture’ has been a buzz word for me in the last few years of my life, as I have tried to understand why people, organizations, and even myself, do the things we do. Often when trying to understand the motives of organizations or other people, I arrive at the conclusion: “Because that’s how it has always been done”. An answer that screams of culture. But I’ve also found there to be varying reasons for the contributors of bad culture. Let me explain that using a scenario that will apply to each of us.
There are three people who belong to a particular religion. They have the choice of attending weekly worship services. I don’t think anyone would argue that attending church is a bad practice, at least they shouldn’t; but it could be argued that one’s motives for going to church could be impure. The first person goes because they genuinely love the experience. The second goes because they are told it is the right thing to do. The third goes because they want to appear unto others to be righteous, but don’t truly want to be there.
Our actions are always fueled by motive, realized or not. Hinduism classifies all motive in three ways, in a set of principles that feel quite inspired. The first is Nishkam Karma. It is the idea of having a pure and selfless motive for our actions and is the highest motive one can have. The next motive, Sakma Karma, is self-centered and is driven by improving one’s own situation. The third motive, Vikarma, has an aggressive and destructive motive. I might attempt to loosely apply the motives of church attenders to these Hindu principles, realizing it may not be a perfect fit, but I feel the comparison works well.
Attending church with genuine love for doing so might be thought of as Nishkam Karma. The intent to attend church out of obedience might be thought of as Sakma Karma. And attending church to appear righteous unto others follows Vikarma.
In one sense, doing something good for the wrong reason, can actually be destructive. Some might reason that going to church for the wrong reason is still good. Maybe. But I find the idea to coincide with the mentality of the Scribes and Pharisees who “…say, and do not” (Matthew 23:3), or at least, who “say, and do not” – for the right reasons.
Attending church when the heart is absent is a form of deceit to self and to others. It is akin to bearing false witness, one of the Ten Commandments. It is drawing near unto the Lord with their lips, but with hearts that are far from Him (Isaiah 29:13). It is in line with the words of James, who said: “a double minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8). In short, this double minded and hypocritical nature represents a form of entrapment. I believe that if the third man had a correct understanding of the gospel, the degree of his motives could be raised to a level that he may desire to attend church or not attend church for purer reasons. Proper doctrinal understanding would be a form of liberation.
When a person or organization lacks understanding, an opening is created allowing room for creativity – the kind of creativity that infiltrated the Sadducees and Pharisees – for whom it appears the lack of true understanding necessitated the addition of frivolous ideas and beliefs that decorated the simple and seemingly mundane truths of the gospel. In ancient times, examples of culture might include the wearing of clothing a certain way; associating with certain people with differing beliefs; using a certain hand to do this or that; or doing certain things or not doing certain things on certain days of the week.
In modern times, things haven’t changed much. The same list applies, with many others, like celebrating holidays a certain way; using certain pronouns in prayer as a necessary part of heavenly communication; focusing on ordinances as the ends, rather than means to an end; viewing sacramental emblems as saviors rather than the Savior they were designed to draw us to; considering ‘sacred buildings’ as destinations, rather than the Holy Places they were intended to represent; the things we wear in religious settings and in public, or the things we don’t wear in the same settings. In the Middle East, you place a cap on your head in religious settings; in the west, you remove them. It is all culture, and the list goes on and on.
The effects these behaviors have on the willful captive is they begin to believe the behavior is more important than the intent with which the behavior was given, or they forget the original reason altogether. They hint of the answer: “because that’s just the way we do things”. Culture at its finest.
This has been a rather long explanation to show that our belief systems, and the cultures we create from those beliefs, whether correct or not, can lead to spiritual, mental, and behavioral imprisonment. In those prisons that we create for ourselves collectively or individually, we can either be a willing prisoner, or we can choose sovereignty. The choice is ours, and the choice either way can be motivated by pure, selfish, or destructive purposes.
Mental Imprisonment
Some have attributed the informal definition of insanity as “doing the same things over and over and expecting different results” to Albert Einstein. By extension, how can someone expect to continue in old thinking patterns and become a different person?
Sometimes certain belittling and weak thoughts echo in my mind like a broken record; maybe you’ve heard them too: “they do it much better than me”; “no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be as good as them”; “I’m stuck in this situation or circumstance and there is no way out”; “I was born this way, and I can never change.” Like a ritual beating to an imprisoned slave, we allow these debased thoughts to lash out upon our confidence and emotional well-being. There is no prison warden making us think those things; no bars or barbed wire preventing our escape. The only chains that hold us bound are the limitations of our thoughts.
I have come to see that these sorts of thoughts do not originate in ourselves. They are influenced by an outside source, and one that is not intended to bring us happiness, confidence, or security. For me, they are cold, dark, empty, and are reminiscent of my best guess of what hell must be like. I wonder if hell is nothing more than a trapped mental state, or a sewer we grow comfortable in, as with human trafficked victims. I take confidence that we can escape these types of thoughts from James Allen, who said:
“Man is made or unmade by himself. In the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.
By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descends below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes are all the grades of character and man is their maker or master
Of all the beautiful truths pertaining to the soul which have been restored and brought to light in the age, none is more gladdening or fruitful of divine promise than this:
Man is the master of thought. The moulder of character. The maker and shaper of condition, environment and destiny.”
– James Allen, As a Man Thinketh
Just as thoughts can keep us prison-bound, they can equally be liberating. The hardest part may be finding the right thought to grab a hold of. There is at least one notable scriptural account that demonstrates the power of captivation as well as liberation.
When the young sinner, Alma, was in a comatose state following an angelic visitation, he described his awful mental state saying: “I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins.” He then said: “the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror.” And one last final damning thought: “Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds.”
Such thoughts are painful to even read. But then the liberating thoughts that follow more than compensate: “…while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world. Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me… now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more (Alma 36: 12-19, emphasis added).
Breaking Negative Cycles
Our upbringing can be another source of entrapment. While we are each individuals with agency and self-will, there is something to be said for the inadvertent enslaving behaviors we inherit during our formative years under the roof of our parents or caretakers, or among our co-workers, neighbors, or society in general.
I have lived outside of my parents’ home for longer than I lived in it and find myself still reacting to situations in ways my parents did, or am stuck in some of the same negative behavioral patterns. I do not say this in disrespect to them, they are good people; but I would be naive to believe all my own negative behaviors are my own. Or their own. And I have seen some of my own negative traits passed on into the next generation through my children.
The reality is, we all have learned behaviors that would be wise to unlearn in our lives, regardless of where they originate, and continuing in those negative behaviors and cycles is to willfully continue to remain in a dark and drafty sewer. Light and freedom is but a few steps and a single choice away.
In some cases, freedom can only mean leaving the circumstances that perpetually seem to drag us down. This idea was taught by the Savior who said “every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life” (Matthew 19:29).
Parents are not the only ones guilty of introducing negative patterns into relationships. As a child, I have been the cause of some difficulty in family relationships. For several years I have been interested in understanding why I act or believe in certain ways. Through this exercise of introspection, I have discovered that some of my negative tendencies were handed down to me. That discovery initially caused me to point the finger of blame back one or two family generations.
Some may find that to be an unrighteous attitude of ingratitude. Going back to the three motives mentioned previously, the idea of finding the source of our negative behavior inherited from others can have pure, selfish, or destructive motives. While my initial motives for playing the blame game may have been selfish, I believe they are now pure in the sense of simply trying to gain understanding, wisdom, and freedom from enslavement. I can also happily say that I have broken many cycles.
I feel there is a responsibility on the part of the progenitor to recognize the negative behaviors they pass down to their descendants, and to make necessary restitution. Likewise, there is a responsibility on the part of the descendants to recognize, reconcile, forgive, and end the negative cycle handed down to them.
Breaking the negative patterns of our fathers and ensuring they do not pass on to the next generation, increases the ability of our fathers, ourselves, and our children to progress. While ordinances may be a necessary aspect of salvation, the multi-generational concept of breaking negative cycles, of loving, forgiving, and enabling is truly at the heart of the Spirit of Elijah, referenced in Malachi: “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse” (Malachi 4:6).
In other words, forgiving old grudges and breaking negative family cycles are some of the most powerful forces of self-liberation.
Bound by the Past
I am often inspired by the thoughts of a neuroscientist named Joe Dispenza. One of the primary themes he has discovered is the idea that people are stuck in their pasts by simply doing things the same way from day to day. He believes that by changing thoughts, one can literally become a new person. He experienced a miraculous spinal injury recovery simply through a purely cognitive regimen, after medical professionals sentenced him to a life as a paraplegic. This is relevant to this essay in the sense that we can become stuck in our past behaviors, but also that we can create our own prison cell by believing the labels placed upon us by others.
Our shared pasts with loved ones, and especially those we are intimate with are critical in the area of potentially being bound by our pasts. If we examine our relationships with those who we are most intimate with, we may find that our comments and actions can form prison cells for them. When we rehash their behaviors or events from a previous day, month, or year, in a very real way we can hold them to a lower and former standard of themselves and literally dam their progression. In that sense, we can create a law of attraction event where the cycles in others that perhaps make us insanely frustrated are only reinforced by our continual focus upon them. Furthermore, we figuratively become our own prison warden and executioner, as well as theirs!
They may also hold us bound by reminding us of regrettable choices we have made in our pasts. We should not hold others or ourselves hostage by constantly focusing on our former selves. Nor should we allow others to hold us hostage by reminding us of versions of our former selves. We can find freedom by letting the negative experiences in our relationships cause us to look within ourselves for the problem, rather than within others. Lao Tzu said, “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” I suppose we give more power to those who are nearest to us.
As divine heirs in Father’s kingdom, we are living, growing, dynamic beings. He does not limit our progression, but allows us to limit ourselves if we choose to. The Lord is certainly the best at letting go of the past: “For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sins no more” (Jeremiah 31:34).
If we find ourselves unhappy or feeling like victims in any of our life’s circumstances, we should not expect to be released from our sewers without looking within ourselves. Christ won’t make us do it. If we want to stay in our prisons, He will mercifully allow us to remain there as long as we are comfortable. The moment we realize we are our own prison wardens, executioners, and deliverer’s, the light of Christ will come with outreached hand, ready and willing to assist our ascension out of our self-made and self-perpetuated captivity. It begins with the single choice only we can make – to be free.
Delivered From Within
“I am a sinner and unworthy”
I listen, whilst picking up a thorn
Willfully given to my prison warden
I seek refuge in punishment
He looks upon my shame gladly
Whip now raised
Threads intwined with added thorn
I deserve it. I am told I do
I listen. I believe
I relent before my sentence
Pain licks my body
Laced with soothing sting
Comforting assurance seized
Shame fills voids between peace and dignity
Sardonic security
I am offended by another
I am innocent, so my warden tells me
My darkness grows in self justification
Ensnared by my grudge, not his offense
Another link in my chain of satin
Soothing incarceration
Ruthless voices reverberate
The chasms of my well-lit darkness
I remain sweetly bound in free captivation
Greater light I have not known
Lulling lashings upon my skin
Nourished by deceptions
Sustained in self limitation
Warmed by cold and sweet stench
Then a voice of intriguing allure
Silenced warden, evermore
Pulsing heartbeat
Nourishing blood of truth
Silken chains now hard and cold
Lacerations sting with recognition
Putrid setting now perceived
Momentary confusion
Profound and sweet implication:
“I was my warden”
“I was my executioner”
Now standing in the light above
Delivered from within
Thank you Eric..This is one of the most important and beautiful essays that I think you have ever written..and as usual its timing in my life, and many others I know who are struggling, is perfect and could only be orchestrated by the Lords hand ..thank you for helping so many of us who are currently struggling to breath in the light and freedom of our true birthright as we leave old conditioning and crumbling foundations behind us as we release ourselves from our “worthy” prisons with the keys to our cells that we are coming to understand, WE held all along…
Thank you Elena. I like your key metaphor, it’s really true. It’s nice to hear from you again!
❤
So true, so true. We are our own jailer.
Thanks Eric
Beautiful. Soul healing, heart lifting mind opening truth. Perfectly timed. Thank you, Eric.
Thank you for the paradigm shift
Sometimes what you write lends truth, perspective and hope. This is one such essay.
Having had an abusive father, then 2 emotionally and somewhat abusive husbands, I’ve now spent more than 20 yrs single and productive, until retirement.
The Lord has sent me on multiple missions to help and serve my adult children and their families.
At first I was eagre and happy, but over time I came to realize their inability to be thankful was upsetting and is demeaning.
I’ve recently come to realize my reaction to their ingratitude has not only been tied to my past, but to my pride.
The Savior gives love and mercy endlessly, and we receive both either in full recognition and gratitude or NOT, or even just partial gratitude.
As time passes, my awareness of taking HIM for granted becomes clearer and it helps me let go of my unhappiness for being taken for granted.
A year ago, having learned I have a terminal condition, I went through the stages of grief. It was then that I determined, NOT to give up, but to re-examine my life and motives. I told the Lord I was putting my life on the altar, and submitting to his will.
Ingratitude may still be an issue, but NOW I measure the lack of kindness, thoughtfulness, love and gratitude given me in a direct image of how much the Savior has suffered the same from myself and from others.
His love is abundant, his mercy is visible and his example is my goal…
I hope this makes sense, please know the intent of my heart is to say how humble Christ was and is. We take his name in vain in our thoughts, deeds and words. He truly is majestic and almighty.
Hi there Eric!
I appreciate this Essay. It brought to mind a saying from;
The Gospel of The Beloved Companion: v28:4&5
“The Kingdom is within you and it is outside you…”
“The Kingdom can only be found in what is before your face…”
My method or process of recognizing and taking responsibility for these negative imbalances comes from the energy work, I have learned, which you and Julie and Jesus seem to be such a big part of.
Love you for all you do to help us learn and grow.
I thank you, TEACHER, for showing up!
What a true Message! Thank you! Yesterday I was reading the experience of Someone who had been trafficked, programmed and mind controlled in the MK Ultra program for years. She talked about the need to forgive and heal. It is amazing to see forgiveness given at that level. She talked about the day when the Kingdom of Christ will be born on the earth and am wickedness will be destroyed and everyone will have the word of the lord written on their hearts and said, “ As long as we see good and evil as enemies instead of a conduit where truth can go from good to penetrating the darkness, we will fail.” This statement has made me ponder how we can “flip the energy” and help ourselves and others out of our dark entrapment into freedom. I feel that I often judge myself or others because of false traditions and this helped me realize the need to forgive and break those negative cycles with the freedoms that comes from Christ’s Light.
I am excited to choose to be free! Thank you for the great imagery from James Allen and Joe Dispenza. I have loved learning from them in the past. The plan is so true and amazing that the moment we choose to be fee And turn Christ is there to help us ascend. Thanks for helping connect many thoughts for me Eric! I feel this is truth straight from Heaven.
This was SO profound!
Thank you so so much for your words that riveted my attention and touched my heart so deeply!
So much to chew on!!! Thank you Eric, I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!
Amazing, what a compilation of intuitive understanding of humanity! My favorite Post by far!!
Eric, thank you! This is profound in multiple ways in its application in our life. Thank you for your time and dedication you give in this work, His work. I’m so grateful for you.
So many of us are stuck in the past from others sins upon us and choose to not live today, the present.
It is also very comfortable to stay in culture and traditions that are actually harmful. It reminded me of the story about the frog in the water that was a very comfortable temperature and as the heat slowly rose, he didn’t notice, until fate had him.
Much to ponder and very well written for us to see how this is in all areas so we can clip those chains! We have the clippers in our hands.
So very powerful and profound Eric! Thank you! For years I’ve been hung up on how belief and unbelief are used in scriptures. I’ve always believed the Savior. The problem comes in not believing in myself, this causes hopelessness and despair. Useless state of mind, no good to myself or my family in that state. We are no threat to the adversary while dwindled in darkness & unbelief. And oh how very much I want to be found among those that drag him and his hoards to the edge and throw em out… again.
I love this Eric. Thank you! When you talked about being bound by the past it struck me to the very center. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve noticed this happening a lot in my life. No one is perfect, but I know what I can do better. It is truly freeing, and I know it helps my family. Thank you!
Hi Eric,
I would like to add a thought for you to consider about the former victim who was willing to help in the rescue mission. No one would understand better the harrowing life of a woman stuck in sex trafficking than another woman who suffered the same hell. This kind of compassion and empathy cannot be contrived or taught. It cannot be faked in the slightest because the evidence would soon become apparent and any trust would be lost or any influence would disappear in the interaction of trying to free her from captivity. The adage…it takes one to know, one comes to mind.
In a smaller though similar manner the woman who was a former victim was acting as a mini savior for the one still bound by chains of abuse and terror. Our Savior who took up himself our grief and shame, our shackles and torments, knows as intimately as each of individually knows those deep and dark abysses in one’s life that we hide from others and keep shamefully locked away. So too when I have suffered at the hands of others, or been the one to cause distress and pain in another, it has been the understanding of another who has travelled a similar path that I have gained confidence and found peace.
It usually isn’t by Jesus’s specific hand that we are freed from imprisonment though. It usually is through the courageous service of others like us who have suffered similar fates that help us. Like the sex trafficked survivor coming to the aid of her female comrade in the Vegas sewers, others bravely come back into enemy territory in an attempt to lead us out of bondage. True this attempt to save her was unsuccessful…it is both harrowing and heartbreaking to even contemplate. But I believe there was a seed of hope planted. And whether on another attempt or after several attempts to rescue her, opening up to light and love most often is a gradual process. How many times might be required I don’t know…but I feel that the wisdom of God is that we are all offered numberless opportunities in this life and after death to come home to our creator and be redeemed from the fall and our folly.
And like a battered woman trapped in an abusive marriage, or a soldier suffering with PTSD, or a kidnapped victim succumbing to Stockholm Syndrome, we are all in need of several rescue missions. We all need each other to be transformed and to ascend. We all have to be led by the Master Healer and learn the healer’s art. We are all one when we see each other as he sees us…lost and alone and worth the rescue mission or missions to reclaim us.
Thank you for your insight. Beautiful thoughts. I felt the same when I read Eric’s essay. I’ve been watching The Chosen videos the past few days. They are beautiful with a very adorable Jesus actor. The scene with the Samaritan woman is touching. I think many women can relate with this woman. I did. And Jesus knows all about her, all her bad choices, all the men who have harmed her, etc. His very purpose to travel to Samaria was to find her and free her. At least, that is the narrative of the writer. I know that when Christ suffered at Gethsemane He experienced every one of our lives individually and I am grateful that He has healed me and unshackled me throughout my journey.
Thank you for your beautiful comment. reading this brought tears of Joy and Pain to my eyes all at once. I am so grateful for the perfect plan we have been given and chose. All of Elohim truly want us to be like them and give us the opportunity time and time again to learn and grow, as Julie has done for me again and again since I first met her. It is amazing how as we follow Christ, we are placed in learning positions, or probationary times, to help each other ascend through His Light!
I use to believe that one day when I stand before my Savior He will give me a big hug and all the pain, sins and weaknesses will disappear. Although I’ve applied His Atonement in my life, I also felt that whatever was not resolved will be taken care of with this big hug I’ve waited a long time for. I hope some relate to these feelings.
Instead I have learned that His Atonement is eternal and ascension is about Them giving us learning experiences so that we truly can become like Them. It keeps giving and giving. There is no end to His Atoning gift and mercy. I have learned that the key is in the “time and gratitude” that I give to Them daily. This is where the miracles happen. And it is all about our thoughts. When I partner with Christ to give gratitude to my body, and place my thoughts and energies with my body, He heals my body. I now see that these same patterns and cycles continue on forever and ever. And the best way to heal our family DNA is to teach our posterity to “come to Christ”, and become alive in Christ. He is the Healer.
I am grateful for the thousands of times that They and Their angels have placed thoughts into my mind to help me find Their path and daily to stay on course. Thoughts are powerful. They can change us, especially when we listen to thoughts that are from Them.
I am so very grateful that They continue to teach me about Their beautiful plan of salvation and exaltation. And I am grateful for the many teachers they have placed on this earth for me to learn from, including you, Eric. Thank you for offering to us your beautiful gift to put into words what is in our hearts!
This essay is beautiful, enlightening and thought provoking.
It feels as though you have presented a gift. I am opening, finding myself therein… encouraged, filled with desire for and promise of freedom.
Thank you Eric!
Thank you Eric for another amazing essay!
This is very validating to have a 2nd witness that the decision to break some of my previous thought patterns is inspired, and very motivating to continue searching for and re-programming uninspired traditions that I have learned since birth, and have been passed down through generational or religious sources, as well as helping others to think and pray for themselves instead of relying or waiting on the arm of flesh to think or make decisions for them.
All these articles from you & the Doctrinal Essays team as well as Julie’s messages has helped me to recognize what re-evaluating I have needed & still need in order to come closer to our Savior. Thank you all so much!
Thank you for your wise words and timely advice.
Hi Geri+Sara, I felt the Holy Spirit when I read your words. Remain humble and submissive to the Lord and you will find what you are looking for.
Maria